I think everyone must have experienced this to a large extent in our life, especially in this world where we are taught to lock our thoughts inside our minds and sew our mouths shut if we want to fit in. Personally, I think this issue is not talked about enough. If we are taught from a young age to never express our deepest thoughts and feelings, then imagine how many of us struggle in later years to bring up a topic that may feel uncomfortable to others in order to keep the relationship ‘safe’ or ‘stable’.
It is statistically proven that the main downfall of all relationships is purely because one party was unable to express their feelings clearly for one reason or another. A shocking 65% of married couples end up in divorce just because of communication problems. No, not due to infidelity or money issues, the sole reason for all of it going downhill is when one partner feels the suffocating feeling, the inability to express their feelings.
Of course, this does not mean that it is their fault for being unable to express themselves. Alexithymia may also come as a result of PTSD, but it is not always the case. If you are aware of anyone in your life that may be struggling with this then here are a few ways to help them open up more:
Clear communication – people who have alexithymia may not understand social cues as well as others, so it’s best to share your feelings directly in order to avoid miscommunication
Labeling feelings – as mentioned previously, people with alexithymia struggle with identifying their own feelings, so it is recommended to read their cues and make them aware of their present feelings. They might be overworked or tired and not realise it, so mentioning that they’ve been working non-stop will help give them clarity of their own self.
Interoceptive support – since they usually struggle with an interoceptive sense where they may struggle knowing their current body’s state, it is essential that you help them realize this and solve it before it gets out of hand.
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