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Darth Vader's Diary

Jaishivan


Sit back, relax and enjoy the movie entry :)




Centaxday Telona 0 BBY - 0 ABY:

Dear Diary,

I took a deep breath as I walked into my pink painted heart-filled chamber. Even though pink was my favourite colour, those blasted stormtroopers dressed me up with black and named me Darth Vader. Believe me, Diary, if I had the power to pick my own name, I would have gone for something like Pink Panther or Captain Heart. Today, the Sith Lord told me to go and check out the Death Star. I am telling you diary, that guy gives me the creeps! Anyway, the troopers in the Death Star told me it could destroy an entire planet. I still don’t like it though. The vibe it was giving out, was, “look I am Death, and I am more of a K-Pop and homey type of guy”. And why name it Death Star? It’s more of a Dead Star anyway. Oh, that was a good ROAST! Anyhow, on my way back from that spooky place, I felt my body aching again. This suit is so tight. I’m starting to think that it is shrinking and it’s so sweaty in here. If only this thing was a removable, washable and user-friendly. I can’t remember the last time I had a bath.

Taungsday Telona 0 BBY – 0 ABY:

The Dead Star was fully operational today, and it still did not look good. Another criticism of mine is why trust this big black ball to destroy, it’s just a big ball of technology after all. I mean, it can’t even think. I love killing the old-fashioned way with my beautiful flashing red lightsaber, ‘Love Heart’. I am starting to think this Dead Star thing is a bad idea. Diary, you know me, all this technology stuff just makes my brain break. Ah! What to do? If only I have a friend who can explain this tech stuff to me. Being an evil supervillain can mean lots of things, especially immense power, but it gets lonely sometimes. Currently the only friend I have is my Pinky Pie (my secret unicorn with the cutest eyes). At least, no one can find you, my precious Pinky Pie. No one knows me at all, except you, Diary. Hey, Diary, can you guess my favourite Disney Song? Yah, that’s right! It’s When You Wish Upon A Death Star. You are the best diary. And now I am talking to an inanimate object. Great! That just proves how lonely I am! Ah! I’m tuckered out. Goodnight, Diary. I have a feeling tomorrow is going to be a big day!

Zhellday Telona 0 BBY – 0 ABY:

Today, I invaded Princess Leia’s ship. I needed to get some last kills with Love Heart before they start using that hideous Dead Star. Once in the ship, I took care of Princess Leia’s useless guards. They were not that hard to kill with the Force and Love Heart. Unfortunately, Princess Leia still managed to get away using an ESCAPE POD with a weird data chip. I may be the one doing the killing, pummelling, destroying and evil laughing but no one tells me anything. It just makes no sense, Diary. I am in charge, but no one ever says anything. Any time I send those silly Stormtroopers, they’re always asking for a raise in salary, pay for overtime, benefits, increments blah blah blah! I’m telling you, Diary, I have to do everything myself. Getting back to Princess Leia, since she had already escaped, I had no choice but to return to the Sith Lord with the disappointing news. However, he was so mean. The one time I let someone live because they were faster than me, he shouts at me like a yelling father. I am starting to think this guy needs anger management or at least therapy. I mean, he’s so grumpy and all he does is sit in that dark chair of his. No wonder he is so cantankerous. In fact, he was raging so hard he wanted to blow me up into space. But who would have thought that ‘Life is a boomerang and what you give is what you get!’ And so, the angry, grumpy and old Sith Lord accidentally used his electrifying hands to blow himself and his prized chair into the endless void of space. And as usual, I came in with my famed evil laugh, “Muahahahaha! May the Force be with you my Sick Lord!”


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