The Lake

“I’ll get it dad!” I offered, my shouts echoing through the caravan. I waited for a response:

“Nah, it’s alright honey! It’s your birthday!” He shouted back.

The caravan was quite small, it was light blue and had three bedrooms, a tiny kitchen, and a living room sofa. Grandmama had insisted on bringing me to this river atop of the mountain that led down to an extraordinary lake. Grandmama didn’t look very old, and she wasn’t frail or weak.

“Teddy! Do you mind grabbing the water bottle from the coffee table?” My dad shouted. Teddy was my little brother, he was 11 years old, however, he was very clumsy and unfortunately tall, knocking everything as he waddled around. I heard him clinking some bottles, his footsteps, dad saying it was water and not wine he wanted, his footsteps again, dad speaking again and finally him toddling back to our room. I raised an eyebrow at him as he stood at the door.

“Dad says he’s stopping the caravan for a while. He wants to do the cake ceremony now, because we’re near a beautiful lake.” Teddy said. “She’s called Star Lake.” He opened the blinds as I took off my headphones. We stared out the tiny window at the view.

The view was breathtaking. The lake’s waters were clear and pure, no doubt like a crystal. They were turquoise like the most precious of gemstones and calm that it reflected even the most trivial of details. The lush hills that surrounded her touched the soft clouds above like a warm embrace. As I looked at the sweet birds that flew over the lake and the stunning blue and orange sky, I felt that it appeared too gorgeous to be real. I couldn’t help but soak in the colours of the different flowers and verdant grass around her. It was impossible to feel anything but tranquillity in her place, who covered herself in pure beauty.

In the living room of the caravan, we lit the cake. It was white with blue frosting and had a chocolate middle. They started to sing ‘Happy Birthday’ and for some reason, it triggered déjà vu. I was tugged by a strong feeling. A feeling that took me away. A different time. A different universe. My heart felt soft, and my brain felt dizzy, yet my stomach felt joyful butterflies as if I had known this moment forever. It was when I was 7. We were in a forest by a waterfall with a beautiful pink chocolate cake, singing happy birthday. Grandmama was there, mother and father were there, Teddy was there, and Mia was there. Her face was in a blur. I don’t remember her very well, but I do know that she was 6 years old at the time. She had dark brown hair, always wore a blue hairband and was short. She was my sister. And I remembered clearly what happened to her.

“Hey, you ok honey?” That was mum’s voice. Being tugged back into the world was not a pleasant sensation and as I was, I could see a glimpse of the lake. I felt dizzy so I sat on the sofa, which to my convenience, was right behind me. My mum was standing over me, and she was wiping my face with a damp cloth. 

“You didn’t blow out the candles, you stood there crying like a baby, so I blew them for you. Bad for the environment you know. Carbon dioxide stuff.” Teddy said and I heard Grandmama smacking him lightly on his head.

“I have…have no idea why I…what I…wha-” I stuttered. Then, blur. Darkness. Cold.

“Once you both finish your slice, you two can follow the river and go play at the waterfall there. I’ll put Teddy here to sleep.” A voice said. I couldn’t see anything, but I knew I wasn’t in the caravan anymore.

“Alright mum!” My voice was dragged out of my throat. My mouth moved in laughter, but not my laughter. If anything, I wanted to cry. After a while, I felt myself running. I heard my giggles echoing around me like when you go to a crowded place and voices are coming from everywhere; but it was my giggles. Unexpectedly, I felt water on my hands, it felt cold and sharp. A newly sharpened piercing blade. I felt the moss on the rocks beneath the water. A mushy bed of regret. I felt a slimy creature, brushing past my hands. A slow, cruel reminder of the past.

“We could build it like a rock castle or like a dam!” I heard a squeaky voice say. My voice, once again, was yanked painfully out of my throat. I heard myself say:

“That is a wonderful idea Mia!”

Mia. Mia? Mia! 

Trying to use my voice, I started to shout her name. I couldn’t hear myself, but I could feel the vibrations in my chest. Suddenly, everything was fuzzy, I could see again! I saw Mia pulling on stones at the side of the waterfall, and numerous rocks collapsed on her, knocking her into the plunge pool of the waterfall. Wait. Was this a second chance to save her? Can I jump into the water? Let me jump in the water! No! I couldn’t lose her again. I tried to move and jump, but I couldn’t. Tears welled in my eyes; I shivered. I saw a glimpse of the shadow of her body in the water, she looked alive, even smiling, and I suddenly felt calm. I stopped screaming. I stared at her sinking in the plunge pool. I saw her peacefully swimming down a river, to the most magnificent lake. Then, I was tugged back to reality.

A heartbeat. A breath. A voice.

I jolted, as I sat up. As if I had been underwater, I took a huge breath, and opened my eyes. Then, I started to cry.

“HELP! HELP!” I yelled. “She needs me!”

I waved my hands in the air recklessly. Someone touched my arm. A zap jounced through my bones. I yelped and flinched away; and as I looked to see who it was, I only saw a shadow. I figured it was my little brother, Teddy, however I could barely see him.

“Honey, Julie? Can you hear us? Can you see us?” That was my mother’s voice.

“No, she can’t see us, but she can definitely hear us. Don’t touch her, she’s been put in a sensitive mode.” That was my Grandmama’s voice.

I waited in my sitting position until I saw every shadow leave the room, all except Grandmama. I didn’t tell anyone, but Grandmama was the only person I could see clearly. Her wrinkles, her soft skin, her joyous smile. Yes, she was smiling at me, and I wondered why.

“I’m sorry that you had to go through this, but that was what I was trying to do. You see, sometimes, when you leave things hanging, it doesn’t play well. Trauma might stick. May I ask you, did you see if she was alright?” Grandmama asked, softly.

“I…I,” my voice came back to me, and I spoke weakly, “I think she…she’s in the…the lake.”